Were less than two months away from election night, and if you watch Fox News Channels popular show “The Five,”where I share my views as a Democrat and co-host, you know Im hoping the Democrats score big victories across the country.
(If youve seen the latest polling, were on track to flip the House and maybe the Senate, but Ive been disappointed before. I wont celebrate until the votes are in and the calls are made!)
But believe it or not, Im not always a fan of my home team. Sometimes the Democrats go too far. Sometimes they preach so intensely at the rest of us that we feel left out of our own party. When it comes to far-left Twitch streamer and his views on Marxism and China, as I said recently, I dont agree with an ounce of what hes selling.
And sometimes, with the benefit of hindsight, we get to see things differently.
To me, two big moments stand out in this crazy political era over the last more than six years, when I believed one thing, then changed my mind.
The first is COVID-19. Dont get me wrong, I still think Dr. , who retired in 2022 after leading the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases for nearly 40 years, did a lot of good for the country. But mask mandates went too far, for too long. When I interviewed my conservative friend and fellow co-host on “The Five” Greg Gutfeld on my podcast, “Raging Moderates,” I saw why he was so frustrated about the governments response: they kept telling him what to do, instead of just leaving him alone.
The second goes back to 2019 (a blissful time compared to the chaos that was about to come!) when actor Jussie Smollett lied about being the victim of a hate crime in Chicago. Id defended him amid the initial skepticism about his attack. In the end, my bias clouded my judgment.
50 CENT MOCKS JUSSIE SMOLLETT’S HARLEM PRIDE PERFORMANCE AS FANS SLAM HIS COMEBACK ATTEMPT
We have to get better at accepting when were wrong. Without that, we cant have a deeper conversation, let alone forge a stronger connection with the people we love. Thats why I wrote my new book,”I Disagree.“
As I found out, there is a surprising amount of data and science behind the art of conversation. Understanding that is one of the keys to unlocking better debates, and ultimately, meaningful relationships.
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You know that glazed look that comes over someones face when you present them with facts that contradict their position? Its not that theyre stupid or stubborn. (Unless they are.) Its that their brain is protecting them from the psychological pain of having their worldview challenged.
First, we sort through what evidence were willing to consider. Then we make sure that anything that might threaten or contradict it gets screened out. Scientists refer to this as motivated reasoning, and eventually it leads us to what sociologists call cognitive armor â a defense system that pre-Âfilters reality.
The most unsettling part? This process is largely unconscious. We dont decide to ignore contradictory evidence. Our brains do it for us, automatically and efficiently. And if we do try to change our minds, did you know that it actually hurts?
